Possibilities of Progress

I had a wonderful and inspiring experience last night helping run the reading series at Red Bull Theater. We did a piece by Howard Barker entitled "Gertrude: The Cry". I don't know if you have ever read Barker's work, but the piece was written in what I like to call a modern poetic style--heightened language written in a sort of free verse form. The story was of Gertrude from Hamlet, not writing before or after the play, but actually writing a different version of events based on what could have happened. The only characters from Shakespeare are Gertrude, Claudius and Hamlet, the rest are all new and re-imagined. What struck me about the piece was the possibilities it opened up. I could write a play or a one-person show centering on the character of Ophelia, without worrying about including particular elements from the play. I know the character inside and out, and so could write her without worrying about betraying her. It could also start before the play began, in her life before the tragedy (not before all tragedy for her, but certainly before the worst of it).

In Barker's play, Gertrude does not die, but marries a man half her age and, one assumes, returns to rule Denmark. It might be interesting to explore what would happen to Ophelia if the building blocks of her insanity from Hamlet were removed. Would she grow into her potential as a wonderful woman, or is there something in her that would have brought her to insanity anyway? Is the insanity lying dormant in her, waiting to come out?

I am not sure which way to begin my work. I do not wish to abandon my previous idea, but I am thinking of doing an exercise in playwrighting and beginning a version of Ophelia based on the Gertrude I have just seen. I believe this will inform my future piece, if not grow into something of its own.

I have been feeling the urge to write more and more, despite having just read Annie Dillard's insightful yet frustrating The Writing Life, in which she begs (in true successful artist fashion) that you not enter into the world of writing because it is a horribly miserable life. Which reminds me of a phone call I had with a successful actor and relative of mine, in which he said to me, "I hear you're an actor. Why would you want to go and ruin your life like that?" I say to all you artists out there, you know very well why artists must be artists. If you're miserable, please, go into another field yourself, but don't attempt to discourage the rest of us away from this wonderful way of life. Is it difficult? Yes. Do we struggle? Yes. But is it worth it? YES.

Excuse my diversion. I have been feeling the need to write partially because I feel the need to get in touch with my self-expression. In my acting work I have received the comment recently that I have mastered the art of interpretation, but not of self-expression. I must admit that I have mainly focused on interpretation, thinking of acting as an interpretative art (though always using the self as a starting off point). This idea of acting as self-expression is exciting to me, and I'm ready to jump into it. I think writing is what will help me to dig into my self-expression and translate it to my acting. Besides, I've always had a dream of living like a hermit in a house on a lake and writing all day long. In reality, I go insane when I sit all day (which is one of the reasons I'm an actor), but in my daydream, it's perfect.