Possibilities of Progress

I had a wonderful and inspiring experience last night helping run the reading series at Red Bull Theater. We did a piece by Howard Barker entitled "Gertrude: The Cry". I don't know if you have ever read Barker's work, but the piece was written in what I like to call a modern poetic style--heightened language written in a sort of free verse form. The story was of Gertrude from Hamlet, not writing before or after the play, but actually writing a different version of events based on what could have happened. The only characters from Shakespeare are Gertrude, Claudius and Hamlet, the rest are all new and re-imagined. What struck me about the piece was the possibilities it opened up. I could write a play or a one-person show centering on the character of Ophelia, without worrying about including particular elements from the play. I know the character inside and out, and so could write her without worrying about betraying her. It could also start before the play began, in her life before the tragedy (not before all tragedy for her, but certainly before the worst of it).

In Barker's play, Gertrude does not die, but marries a man half her age and, one assumes, returns to rule Denmark. It might be interesting to explore what would happen to Ophelia if the building blocks of her insanity from Hamlet were removed. Would she grow into her potential as a wonderful woman, or is there something in her that would have brought her to insanity anyway? Is the insanity lying dormant in her, waiting to come out?

I am not sure which way to begin my work. I do not wish to abandon my previous idea, but I am thinking of doing an exercise in playwrighting and beginning a version of Ophelia based on the Gertrude I have just seen. I believe this will inform my future piece, if not grow into something of its own.

I have been feeling the urge to write more and more, despite having just read Annie Dillard's insightful yet frustrating The Writing Life, in which she begs (in true successful artist fashion) that you not enter into the world of writing because it is a horribly miserable life. Which reminds me of a phone call I had with a successful actor and relative of mine, in which he said to me, "I hear you're an actor. Why would you want to go and ruin your life like that?" I say to all you artists out there, you know very well why artists must be artists. If you're miserable, please, go into another field yourself, but don't attempt to discourage the rest of us away from this wonderful way of life. Is it difficult? Yes. Do we struggle? Yes. But is it worth it? YES.

Excuse my diversion. I have been feeling the need to write partially because I feel the need to get in touch with my self-expression. In my acting work I have received the comment recently that I have mastered the art of interpretation, but not of self-expression. I must admit that I have mainly focused on interpretation, thinking of acting as an interpretative art (though always using the self as a starting off point). This idea of acting as self-expression is exciting to me, and I'm ready to jump into it. I think writing is what will help me to dig into my self-expression and translate it to my acting. Besides, I've always had a dream of living like a hermit in a house on a lake and writing all day long. In reality, I go insane when I sit all day (which is one of the reasons I'm an actor), but in my daydream, it's perfect.

Project (Obviously) On Hold

As you may have realized, I have not been posting for quite some time. As sometimes happens, life has stepped in, and I have had to shelve this project for the time being, although it is still percolating in my brain.

My husband received a grant this past summer to start a non-profit. Much of my time is now split between being his part-time volunteer managing director, and pursuing my acting. I have also been away for several months. This summer I taught play composition to little (I mean little) children. After that I travelled to Wisconsin for some much needed family bonding, and then Jonathon and I took our honeymoon to Greece and Turkey.

Now that I have returned I am taking scene study class, hopefully interning at a wonderful theater, and working at our non-profit.

All of these things have been very inspiring, and I can see that I am growing both as an actor and as a human being.

Ophelia, however, is never far behind in my thoughts. Ideas are still percolating, although my days in the library are not possible at the moment. For instance, I have begun to think about playing with the structure of my play. Originally I had several scene ideas planned out, alternating between Ophelia and my professor character. Now I'm beginning to think that I should really rest on the five act structure of Shakespeare himself. Perhaps using the acts in the same way Shakespeare used them, although the content would be very different. Or perhaps starting in the five act structure, using it as another way in which to trap or confine Ophelia, and then allowing her to break out of it. I am also thinking of modernizing the story much as Jonathon and I have modernized Esther together. Perhaps this Ophelia is not Shakespeare's, but a parallel character, or perhaps she is Shakespeare's Ophelia, but she is living in modern day. This would give me the freedom to write her words without feeling overshadowed by iambic pentameter.

As I continue to think through these things, and perhaps begin to try them out, I will continue posting my thoughts. Thanks for reading them.

The Lady of the Hour

How to portray Ophelia is key, of course. And it is different from deciding how to portray her in the productions I was in. If I had the opportunity to play her in production again, I would want to try something completely different, simply because I could.

One of the reasons she is so intriguing is that Shakespeare leaves much of her character up to interpretation. I believe that's why artists have been drawn to her over the years, and one of the reasons actresses love to play her even though she is a small role.

In my production last year I played her madness with a good dose of rage, a freedom from social norms, a desire to implicate and expose the corruption she saw around her. And later, with her brother, the sadness of her loss. If I had the opportunity to play her again, I might toy around with the idea of her madness bringing her a great sense of calm. As if all her sadness were too much to bear so she just disconnected from them and entered another realm.

So first I have to decide where in Ophelia's timeline we are in my piece. I said originally that I wanted to avoid an Ophelia who is simply "looking back" on all that has happened to her. But I also would love to see her after everything has already happened to her with a sense of acceptance. I said earlier that I want her to be reacting to what the professor is saying, but I think that could be through image rather than a direct reference. Always better to show than to tell. Part of me wants her first entrance to be the opposite of the professor's first entrance. We could have her distraught, in her father's jacket (an image I love though I haven't used it), with a soundscape occurring while she is in silence. The verbal, intellectual appearing against the nonverbal feeler. This would also give me room to have two complete character arcs that cross in the center. Ophelia begins in pieces, and ends with a sense of acceptance. The professor begins with a firm grasp of things and ends in pieces.

But who is this Ophelia? I guess I should start with my character analysis from when I played the role. She can begin where I feel the character is, and then go beyond that, to a place where Shakespeare's Ophelia was unable to go.

THE Library

So it turns out that I didn't actually take research notes while I was prepping to play Ophelia. I read many, many things, and then let them naturally synthesize their way into (or out of) my system. This means that I needed to make a trip to the research library where many of the Opheliac books are housed.

The research library in Manhattan is quite an intimidating place. There are no instructions for the lost researcher on how to acquire books, and there is little explanation as to why these particular books were chosen to be set apart from the rest. You must make your way to the third floor with little to no guidance, discover the carbon copy request forms, take the to the correct librarian, and sit down to wait for your number. All of this ceremony and secrecy may be confusing, but it certainly makes you feel important and legitimate.

Although I requested several books in the main reading room, two of my requests sent me to the even more separate, even more secretive Room 300. This room houses all the Art and Architecture books and has it's own rules and ceremonies that reminded me of many an intellectual thriller that involves deep research in order to discover the culprit. I turned in my slips, gave the librarian my seat number, and sat in silence, waiting for my books.

I had two hours to spend, not long enough I know, and I spent it all on one beautiful book entitled The Myth and Madness of Ophelia. This book was written as a companion to an exhibition of Ophelia paintings and photographs around 2001. The first two articles are written in response to the character of Ophelia, and what she has come to mean in our culture, rather than her actual role in the play. They seems to mirror one of the few lines I have already written, "she has become greater than the sum number of words she actually speaks in the play".

I could go on, but this entry is getting a little long. I believe now that the books I will encounter written specifically about Ophelia will encompass not just her role and the interpretation of that role in the play, but also the mythical figure she has become. If I remember correctly, however, the books on HAMLET are not so kind to her, and will provide me with more material for my scholar character. I turn next to Michael Pennington's book on Hamlet, which was one of the materials I read during my research last year that was somewhat helpful, and somewhat irritating. I imagine a great deal of research will be needed for this piece before I am satisfied with my characters voices. Perhaps I have a direction for the professor, but I am still not clear as to how I want to portray the lady of the hour.

Beginnings of Form

At this moment I have a general idea of what I want this piece to consist of. I have two characters that will alternate with one another and create a dialog. One character will be the voice of the research and one character will be Ophelia. At this moment I am thinking that the research voice will be an English professor, or something of the sort, and she will be doing this research because of her own obsession with the character. Perhaps she is working on writing a book exposing the real Ophelia. I want to shy away from her being an actress researching the part because I want this person to start with a total outside/intellectual approach. Her speaking will probably take on the feeling of a class lecture, and perhaps it will start out with her actually giving a class lecture to make the audience a concrete part of the story. Her scenes will be interspersed with Ophelia scenes. I'm not sure how these will go either. I want her to be reacting to the information we have learned from the Professor. One idea is to have her sing. I feel that music should be involved in some way as a way of breaking up the portions where I am talking. I also am spurred on to use music by the script. When Ophelia enters in her madness, the script says she is carrying a lute. I am just getting in to the swing of playing my guitar again, and I think that Ophelia could be using the guitar through most of her scenes. My husband has offered his assistance with music, and this could allow for some scenes that are wordless, using either music or sound-scape behind them. Scenes would interweave until we hit a climax in which both characters would either confront one another in a scene, or perhaps through some other convention involving voice over or music.

I think the arc of the play will be in the Professor character. She will begin very academic and outside of all the feeling of the character, until through circumstances in her life, she will follow the path of Ophelia to some extent. I have the closing image already in my head, but I will save that for later...

The next step is to go through all of my character notes from the time I first played Ophelia. From here I will begin to find the bits I want to use, and see what information I am missing that I need to do more research on. Then the Professor will have the beginnings of her voice.

How I Got Here

In graduate school I first approached the character of Ophelia in scene and monologue study. Until that point I hadn't thought much of her. A small role really, mainly composed of mad ramblings. But there is something about her that is more than that. Something that, upon second look, made me fascinated by her. Part of that fascination comes from the fascination of others. Plays about Ophelia, books derived from her name, countless paintings of her covered in flowers and sinking beneath the water...she has become greater than the sum number of words she actually speaks in the play.

When I was cast as Ophelia last year, I began by reading the play, and also by seeking out as much other material on her as I could find. There are many, many books on Hamlet, as you can imagine, and all of them take at least a nod at Ophelia. Many of the choices I ended up making about her arose from this reading, whether I tried a suggestion or rebelled against what I saw.

One thing that struck me was this: Ophelia in scholarship is not the same Ophelia as the one in the playing of Hamlet. Although there are many brilliant ideas about her, I found that many of them deny the fact that Ophelia (and Hamlet for that matter) when played on stage are full, complete people in that world.

I have had the desire to write a performance piece on Ophelia for a long time. But as I tried writing I found that I was clearly stuck. I didn't want to write a one-hour lament, I didn't want to write a piece of her "looking back" on what happened to her, and I didn't want to attempt to recreate scenes from the play in the solo format. What became clear to me recently, as I looked over my notes from last summer-trying to find a clue as to how to begin, was that this discrepancy between Ophelia and all I had studied about her was the story I wanted to tell.

These posts will chronicle my process as I write this piece. I write this blog as an archive for myself, to help me discover, as the piece takes shape, how it is that I got there.